I haven't bought a present,
Nor, have I placed a tree,
And it is late December,
In fact, day twenty-three.
It isn't like I planned this,
I'm no fool who'd choose this fate,
But, I'm feeling kind of stupid,
Who, but a fool would be this late?
Day twenty-four, I'm running mad,
There's so much yet to do,
But all the stores have all sold out,
The tree farms, they have too.
What will I tell my children,
Just what reason will I give?
"I'm allergic to most Christmas trees,
And with them I won't live?"
And what about the presents,
And the stocking stuffers too,
That "Santa couldn't bring them here,
Because he's got the flu?"
I hear "Home Depot" has "free" trees,
This last day of their sale,
And as for Santa and his gifts...
"He said they're in the mail."
