An Unrequited Love Poem
1.
Imagine you're in love, and nothing you can do.
So you come to her house but her single mom says to you:
"All men are pigs. Stay away from Rebecca."
But you wear your heart on a sleeve and so you proceed.
She says "hi" and asks: your phone, cell-phone, pager, email: "just in case."
She'll give you her number, but when you call, it's the Center for Deaf & Blind.
She will then ask: your bank account situation & your wallet location.
She'll say: Let's go to a restaurant, Let's go to two, Let's go to the movies,
Let's do shopping, Let's smoke a joint, Let's go to a party, Let's go to two,
Let's drink some beer, Let's go to a pop concert, Let's watch reality tv.
And then she'll add:
"Do you know that love is just chemicals: a cocktail of serotonin, protein, and adrenaline?"
In her room she will ask: What car you drive? What shows you like? What job you do?
What's your political position? How much money you make? How much money you make?
How much money you make? How much money you make?
She says, "Before we start we need to consult my relationship counselor."
She says, "I am very neat, I am not discreet, I have five boyfriends and
seventeen admirers." She says, "I'm a princess and treat me as such."
2.
So I made up my mind and robbed a bank and returned to her place.
I walked by her mom, who hates all men for being men,
I walked into her room and I said, "I'm rich, Rebecca. Will you marry me now?"
And she asked: What's your bank account situation? Your political position?
Your scientific dimension? Your house location?
Your car pretension? Your favorite
Obsession?
And she said, Let's go to the movies, Let's go shopping, Let's go bowling,
Let's go sing karaoke, Let's go to a restaurant, Let's go to two,
Let's go to three, Let's go to four.
Disclaimer: I come from a village in Siberia - so you see
What I'll describe here seems very strange to me.
