I'd like to tell a little story, about Ron's Allegory,
And the troubles I had when I brought it home.
It was moody and morose, a trifle bellicose.
So, I thought it best that it was left alone.
I put food down in a dish, And, then I thought, "I wish
The Allegory wouldn't make those ugly sounds."
It ate everything in sight, and I thought, "This can't be right,
The dang thing only weighs a couple pounds."
So I went and bought a book, 'cause I thought I'd better look
To see what my friend Ron had sold to me.
I thought that I'd been had, and it made me kind of mad,
'Til the story in the book jumped out at me!
There was a picture of the beast, and will wonders never cease?
I knew I'd seen it's ugly face before.
The thing was in a cage, it's face screwed up in rage,
In the window of a "Fly by Night" pet store.
This store caught the attention, of a paper we won't mention.
Not the kind of paper I'd buy every day.
It went on about their scruples, the fact they dealt in rubles.
And the paper then went on to say.
An Allegory's vicious, it's temperament, malicious,
Not suited for your average family.
I got that phone a ringing, to tell Ron I'd be bringing
Back the dreadful beast he'd foisted off on me.
I got to Ron's, surprised, to see a squad parked outside
An ambulance was sitting in the drive.
"Hmm? What's this about?", I shook my head and then got out
And asked the cop if Ron was still alive.
He said, "He's doing better, but, according to this letter,
He's importing animals that pose a threat."
He asked me, "Mister, have you ever laid eyes on a Haiku?"
And I told him that I'd had one as a pet.
He shook his head, quite sadly, "Ron's been bitten very badly
By a Haiku, and it took out quite a chunk".
I didn't say a word, I just rushed out to the curb,
And checked my Remy shotgun, in the trunk.
I shot the bloody Allegory, and I'm really very sorry
Ron got bit, and I bear him no ill will.
I might have lost my money, but still it's kind of funny,
And, it's true, revenge is still the sweetest pill.
